


Where Does The Good Go

by tsaritsas



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, idk if ranting counts, isn't it, maybe some angst??, this is all i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:34:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsaritsas/pseuds/tsaritsas
Summary: Lucie gets overwhelmed with everything that's happened so far, so Jesse lets her rant to him and gives her advice.
Relationships: Jesse Blackthorn & Lucie Herondale, Jesse Blackthorn/Lucie Herondale
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Where Does The Good Go

"Is that the end of the chapter?" he asked, seeming so at ease.

Lucie wondered how Jesse was okay with all of it. The arguments going on and the tensions they caused, the world that seemed to be crumpling around her, caused her chest to tighten and her thoughts to spiral. The manipulation caused by his own sister and the havoc it wreaked on the people she'd known all her life, who hadn’t done anything except commit the mistakes of anyone else human.

"No," replied Lucie, her mind racing with everything that had nothing to do with her story, "just some writer's block is all." Writer's block. How ironic. As painful as it was, everything that went on in Lucie’s life, both the problems brought by demons and by misplaced trust, would make a very interesting story. But it was never a story she wanted to write, much less one she wanted to be part of. It's not a story anyone should want to be part of at all, she thought. If Lucie was reading the story herself, she would wonder how anyone could bear it.

But she knew now. You live through what's unbearable, and you bear it.

She looked at Jesse, who was sat on her windowsill staring out into the rainy night, and blinked back tears. He had an ease about him that Lucie envied, an ability to not let everything get to him. He knew everything she knew, so how was he handling it all so well?

A tear ran down her cheek, and then a sob escaped her unplanned. Jesse looked over, his green eyes widening as he realized where the sob had come from. He jumped down from the window and went to sit on the edge of Lucie’s desk. Under a normal person's weight it would've tipped, but Jesse was not normal.

He sat down on the edge and lifted a cold hand to Lucie's cheek, wiping away her tears. He sighed, a sad smile appearing on his face. “It’s not writer’s block," he asked in a soft tone, as though he thought anything harsher would startle her, "is it?"

Lucie shook her head and wiped at her eyes, trying to keep her voice steady. "Not at all,” she said, her voice breaking at the last word. She smiled a sad smile at the boy in front of her. He looked at her with large green eyes the color of the phenomena people said you could see far north in the dead of winter; a startlingly bright contrast against the dark of night. They were quite beautiful, his eyes, against his pale skin and shock of black hair.

“Well then, Lu,” Jesse said, “tell me what’s on your mind.” He pushed back a stray lock of hair from her face. Lucie hadn’t realized it was there at all, probably because she was so lost in her own thoughts. Her focus moved to the question at hand: what _was_ on her mind anyway? That story had come to a close, after all. There was nothing else left to say.

Lucie blinked back the tears yet again as she looked at the boy in front of her. “I don’t know,” she said, a tone of defeat present in her voice. She went through the checklist in her mind yet again; the villain had been defeated, all of her friends were safe, life had returned to normal.

She noticed Jesse scanning her face yet again, as if he was trying to read for something even though she herself couldn’t figure anything out herself. “Did something happen today?” he asked, “Something that reminded you of a memory you hoped to forget? Anything scary happen during the day?”

“No,” she stressed. He looked taken aback. _Crap._ “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel as if you’d hurt me. You didn’t say anything.” Lucie took a breath in before continuing. “The problem is that I don’t know. I should be happy, shouldn’t I? Everybody is safe, all the chaos has been contained. But it’s as if something else should’ve happened. Nothing should have happened, though. Maybe I’ve grown used to the chaos and peace is just a new feeling again. That would be weird though, wouldn’t it? I’d spent most of my life living in a time of what’s considered relative peace, at least in London. So shouldn’t I just be relieved?”

“Some people would probably say yes,” Jesse replied, “that you should just be feeling relief.” He gave her a sad smile once again, his eyes glazing over her typewriter before meeting hers. “However, I’d say that only feeling relief in this situation would be a bit of a stretch. You fought a Prince of Hell, first of all, which is no easy task. You also watched your brother suffer the consequences of my sister’s manipulation.” He looked down at the floor as he finished the last sentence, as if he was to blame for what Grace had done, even though he couldn’t possibly have had any idea about it at all. “And though most your friends were safe in the end, you still couldn’t save everyone. So to expect blind positivity after what happened to you would just be ignorant.”

Lucie placed her elbow on the desk, propping up her face with her hand, slightly turning her head so she could get a clearer view of Jesse. His green eyes met with hers; she wondered how the boy from the forest all those years ago had come to mean so much to her. She didn’t know if she would believe the words he’d just said if they had come from someone else. Nevertheless, Lucie still felt that something was wrong.

“I suppose so,” was all she replied, as she didn’t want to burden Jesse with any more of her problems. “Maybe I’m just tired, so it seems like more than it actually is.”

“No,” he replied, a sad look in his startling green eyes. He always had a melancholy look in his eyes, Lucie thought, but this one was just more at the surface than usual. Right now, she couldn’t really see much of his iris and that his pupils were wide and black, expanded to see in the night that was the only world he knew. “it’s not more than you think it is.” Jesse smiled another sad smile he too often seemed to have, and Lucie realized that it had been a while since he’d seen someone happy and in sunlight. He spent too much time in the sadness that came with the night, enough time that he seemed to be used it, that it was most of what he knew.

Lucie wiped her eyes again, trying to stop the tears that still came despite her efforts to get them to stop. “I’m sorry,” she said, trying her best to look him the eye.

“For what?”

Her eyes were blurry with tears. “For making you listen to me complain about everything when I shouldn’t be complaining at all. You probably think I’m awful, especially since you’ve been through so much, and I can’t get my mind off of these events that shouldn’t be affecting me at all, and if you want to than you should just go—”

“ _Lu_ ,” he said, and she realized he had his hand resting on her cheek. “Don’t ever say that again.” His thumb traced her cheekbone, wiping away more of her tears. His voice was stern as his eyes moved to hold her gaze. “I’m here because I don’t want you to be alone.” His expression and tone began to soften. “I care about you too much to let that happen.”

Jesse hopped down from his place on the desk. Lucie stood up from her seat, ready to ask why he was leaving. Why was he leaving? He couldn’t just let her be alone now. Not after everything that had just happened. _Please don’t go._ “Jesse—”

They suddenly stood opposite one another, just inches away. Jesse’s hands moved to cup her face, cold but comforting. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before his eyes met hers again, his expression full of worry and concern, and something else she couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Don’t ever think that I would leave you alone.”

Lucie couldn’t comprehend what happened next as Jesse pulled her again him, wrapping his arms around her, holding her as if to protect her from whatever harm could come. She thought she had heard his voice break at the last syllable, but it was probably just her imagination. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and finally let the tears fall freely.

**Author's Note:**

> hey!! i'm back with some more of this hurt/comfort shit I keep writing. hope you guys like it


End file.
